5 Years

This post is being dedicated to my 5 year old son, Sam.  His birthday was actually on Wednesday but because we started back to school and had his party yesterday, I am a little behind on getting this written to him. 

Dearest Sam,

Where has the time gone?!  It seems like just yesterday I was announcing that you would be making an appearance into this world and today we are celebrating your 5th birthday.  When we found out we were having a boy, my heart leaped for joy.  As you grew in my tummy, I loved you more and more with each and every kick. 

I will never forget the day that Granna and I went to the doctor just before you were born.  He told me that you would be making your grand appearance the next day.  BOY, was I excited and scared to death all at the same time.  Your Granna and I rushed home to make sure we had everything just perfect.  I went to bed early and tried so hard to sleep but all I could think about was that "tomorrow, I will be a Mommy!".  We got up early and your daddy drove me to the hospital.  I don't think either of us spoke a word. 

When the time came for you to be born, I got into a wheelchair.  As I sat down in that chair, I was flooded with emotions like never before.  I had no idea what was about to happen to me.  You made your special arrival at 7:32 that morning and my life instantly changed.  I never knew I could love someone so much.  I can remember the first time I held you in my arms.  You looked me in the eyes right there in that recovery room and we instantly bonded.  As your Granna says, "You have been my breath right from the beginning".

Now you are 5 years old.  You are the sweetest child, with such a big heart.  You are very quick to ask me if you can help me.  Every day you tell me and I quote, "You are the best mommy every!" and I never get tired of hearing that. You are so very smart and extremely witty.  I never know what you are going to say, which keeps me on my toes for sure.  You are, in one word, PERFECT, and I thank God for giving me the great honor of being YOUR Mommy!

Sam, thank you for being such an awesome little boy and thank you for making this Mommy's heart melt every day. 

I love you my first born Son!!

Mommy

Veggie Tales

Each day, I have been making it a point to pray while I am getting ready.  This morning, as I prayed, I asked God to give me a word today, one that would be encouraging, but also one that would challenge me to be a better Christian and witness for Him.

As I was driving to school, Sam and Harrison were watching a Veggie Tales movie in the backseat.  This is where my "word" came from.  It was like God was saying to me, "Stop worrying about SAT/ARMT; stop worrying about what all you have to get done at school today; start listening to me." (even if it is through a Veggie Tales movie...HA!)

So, I began to listen.  The movie was about a train factory and the people had to fill 2,000 orders in one night.  The owner was upset because things were not going the way he had planned.  The main character in the movie, in the end, showed the owner of the factory that if he would just relinquish control and trust God, he would take the reigns and work out all the details for the better. 

As I listened, I was brought back to a very low time in my life.  I was brought back to the few months following the death of Ryan's mom.  I HATED to be alone, in fact, I would go sit in the floor at Walmart just to keep from being alone.  I wouldn't go anywhere because I was afraid I would die if I went.  I had really bad panic attacks and ultimately got very sick.  I had two, very painful surgerys, one of which almost took my life, and I had a blood transfusion.  Through that experience, I began to see why God was allowing all of this to happen.  It was to get me to trust him.

Trusting, it seems easy, but its' extremely hard (at least for me anyway).  I am going to be perfectly honest, it's hard for me to trust someone I have never "seen" with my eyes.  Does this make sense??  Don't get me wrong, I KNOW He is real; I KNOW I have seen what He can do, but I have never laid eyes on Him physically.  However, He has NEVER failed me.  I knew this but through my experience with the death of Ryan's mom and the things I went through shortly after, I trully realized it for the very first time.  I have kept this scripture very close to my heart ever since I have come through that time.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

This morning, as I listened to the Veggie Tales movie and I heard them singing the words of this verse, I realized, just like I did years ago that I have to do better at relinquishing control.  I have to let go of the reigns of my current situation.  I'm praying constantly that I can let go completely of the things that weigh me down and not take them away from God again.  I have been a backseat driver for a long time, not fulling trusting the ONE behind the wheel.  It's time for me to stop being a pesky backseat driver and start being a trusting passenger.  God is the PARENT and I am the CHILD.  HE IS IN CONTROL!!!!

Father, thank you for being so trustworthy.  Thank you for being a CONSTANT source of stability in our lives.  Lord, I know we don't always trust you the way we should.  I am asking you right now to forgive me of that.  Remind me daily that you are in control of EVERY aspect of my life and that if I will just let you, you will give me the future YOU have in store for me, not the one I have planned out in my head.  I love you, Lord.  AMEN!!

Hope you all have a fantastic day!!!

~Erin

The Beginning

Hello Blog World!  I am new to the world o' blogging, so this is going to be a work in progress.  I attended our local MOPS meeting last Thursday night, where our Pastor's Wife, Mrs. Joan Pollard spoke on Home and Family Organization.  She is a fantastic organizer, let me just say, but the one thing that stuck out to me was that she Journals almost daily.  She keeps a record of things going on in her personal life as well as with the Church, and goes back to it on a regular basis to recall things that have happened.  I have not let that leave my mind, so I am starting a "Family Journal" here.

I am not a "writer" per say, but I have felt compelled for awhile, to not only "journal" but to also share what God lays on my heart from time to time.  I love my Jesus and I thank Him for giving me "words" of encouragement from time to time.  I hope that through this blog you will see several things...

1.) That being a Christ-follower is the absolute best decision you could ever make.
2.) That you are not alone, whether it be a "wilderness" time in your Christian life, or a "Mommy Crisis"

I title this Blog "Shine On Us" first because I love the song, but also because that is just what I pray God will do through this blog, Shine His perfect love down on me and you daily so that we will will KNOW is plan for us.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11